When Growth Doesn’t Feel Good?
How discomfort can be a sign that something new is taking shape.
Key Point
Growth can feel painful or confusing at first because leaving the familiar, even when it hurt, creates real emotional disruption.
What If Growth Doesn’t Feel Good?
Am I ready?
I think I am.
Ready for something different, a change, a bridge away from the familiar and into something new. It makes logical sense. The past, the trauma, the hurt, none of it has been helpful. It has brought more pain than peace. And yet, the leap into something new feels just as scary, even when the “new” might mean something good, healthy, or pleasant.
It’s often said, “It’s hard to heal when all you’ve ever known is chaos.” With any change, there is disruption. Things shift, move around, and get out of rhythm. Suddenly, you don’t know where to go, how to feel, or how to react. That confusion can make anyone wonder, “Is this even worth it?” Because chaos, for all its pain, can also be familiar, and what’s familiar can feel safer than what’s unknown.
The Paradox of Readiness
As a therapist, much of my work involves helping clients explore when they’re truly ready to adapt, change, or live differently. Most people come into therapy with a history, a story, or patterns that once helped them survive but now keep them stuck. By the time they reach me, there’s usually a deep longing to fix, correct, or escape the pain that’s followed them for years.
Meeting someone where they are is essential. But healing also asks something of us, a willingness to take a small step in a new direction. To believe, even faintly, that another path could exist. That something truer, steadier, or freer might be waiting.
When Growth Feels Worse Before It Feels Better
Unfortunately, that path often starts in turmoil. Growth rarely feels graceful. It’s messy, uncomfortable, and full of moments that make you question whether you’re going backward instead of forward. Clients sometimes tell me, “This isn’t working. I feel worse.”
But what if that “worse” is actually a sign that something inside is shifting? Therapy isn’t meant to erase pain. It helps you learn how to be with what doesn’t feel good, to validate what’s hard to hold, to make sense of it, and to integrate it into a fuller picture of who you are.
This is especially true for those healing from trauma or grief. The experiences themselves don’t vanish, but our relationship to them can change. The mind, body, and spirit can begin to move together again, not to forget, but to move with what has been, toward what can still be.
A New Kind of Strength
Real growth isn’t always calm or certain. Sometimes it’s shaky, uneven, and full of questions.
It can feel messy, but that mess is often the space where change begins to take shape.
If you’re in that space, it doesn’t mean you’re failing. It might mean you’re finally letting something new take root.
Questions to Consider:
What feels hardest about changing right now?
What might your discomfort be trying to show you?
About the Author
Christopher Morrison is a Licensed Professional Counselor and a Nationally Board-Certified Music Therapist. He has
specialized training in Trauma-Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (TF-CBT), EMDR, the Bonny Method of Guided Imagery & Music, and
Internal Family Systems (IFS) Therapy. As the owner of Mind & Melody Therapy Services, he works as both a psychotherapist and music
therapist, helping adults heal from childhood trauma and reconnect with their inner child. His approach fosters self-compassion,
emotional healing, and personal growth.
